Finding more meaning in burnout

Less is more unless it's nothing

Burnout is so common that it’s almost become a buzzword. But you know what they say about clichés? [It’s cliché because it’s true.]

What happens when you have special interests competing with requirements in work [that you love, anyway], and rest… in general…?

More than a few times I’ve felt myself on that precipice, battling the desire to keep going because I genuinely want the thing done, or to do the thing, versus the urge to throw it all in just so I can get a little more creative time to myself without the pressure. Space, so my brain could breathe.

The last thing you want to do is add to your to-dos. In some cases, it’s the last thing you should do. But my case wasn’t about doing too much of the things I didn’t like [that’s a lie; I didn’t want to have to the life admin-related things. I no longer had the energy.] It was really more about craving more of the things that give me life. The same life-giving that happens to our humanity: creating art.

So how to add another ‘doing’ thing in a way that will satiate what I really need, and [hopefully] save me from stepping over the edge into burnout?

Here’s what I did… and am in the process of still doing…

• Mindful community: Once a week, I prioritise mindful space in community; in this case, a yoga class. With this, I also don’t force it into my week, nor criticise myself if it extends to the next week instead. The idea is that I’m going generally once every one or two weeks, at a pace that feels good for me. Not at one that forces it into the same time and day each time. Right now, that’s not what feels useful for this activity, but damn the mental and energetic space I get just from doing this is making all the difference.

• In the room where it happens: Body-doubling is something that really works for me when I’m struggling to get in the mode, particularly as it pertains to creativity. I LOVE being creative, but because of how my brain works and how it’s required to work for the rest of my work and day, I can find going it alone creatively quite frustrating; even when I do set the time alone, it’s almost like there are so many different directions to go in, it feels impossible and I freeze. Ultimately ending up doing nothing, but wasting the precious time I had put aside. One-on-one coffee catch ups about and around creativity with fellow creative friends, or being in short and snappy writing incubators led by someone else [particularly when it’s AuDHD-friendly], has/is making all of the difference. So I call this putting myself in the room where it happens, but not too crowded.

• Paying attention to what’s needed: The last piece always comes down to me paying attention. Am I taking an hour out on a Saturday to go upstairs and do some restorative yoga with my favourite playlist for it on when I feel super uncomfortable in my body? Am I taking myself for a walk outside when I’m not up for gym, but know I need to move? Fun fact: Based on experience, these moments I feel guaranteed to have more clarity and even some inspiration as a result of doing it. Sometimes, most often, right in the middle of it, which makes me feel the urge to interrupt it all just to grab the inspo as it flies past my face. I’ve learned to make a note of it however I need to, but let myself complete the practice or the walk or the whatever - because it’s so, so good for me. [But sometimes, yes, the interruption is taken with glee].

Even to me, it often feels so counterproductive to add things when I’m already feeling overwhelmed. But what I’ve learnt is that just doing nothing without intentionally choosing doesn’t actually rejuvenate me. It simply leaves me feeling more overwhelmed because it’s ‘wasted hours’ not actually doing what I want to. And yes, sometimes making the lounge room a cave and bingeing Ted Lasso or The Walking Dead is a salve for the soul [I have some tips and tricks that I rely on to help me pick without having to use my thinking brain too much in moments of overwhelm.]

It’s easy to shut down when you feel overwhelm, but if you are a fellow neuro-spicy of the autistic or ADHD variety who has many special interests, and that’s where at least part of the stress comes from for you, this approach - considered, intentional, but not extra ‘jobs’, never make it feel like another job - might just help.